Here we go again, the looking-back time of the year. Here’s my take, as it appears on LoveRomanceRead (which, by the way, you should check out because it’s a very nice place if you’re into romance and books).

By yours truly.

As usual, I don’t have ten things… that would mean getting into many specific happenings,  and then I’d have way more than ten. 

What I’ll do is, I’ll focus on the big ones. 

1)    I’m surviving Kindergarten. 

Not for me, clearly. I’m surviving it as a mom. 

I distinctly remember thinking, “Hey, I’m done with school. Now it’s (my boy) Massimo’s turn.”

How naïve of me. 

Turns out, there’s TONS I have to do in terms of working with him, helping him, and making sure I’m on the same page his (fantastic) teacher is, so we’re all working together. And I’m okay with that. I love school, always have and always will. 

What stresses me out is, well, everything else. Extra activities, monthly book orders, monthly causes the school champions and involve him, wearing a shirt of a certain color (which means, find a shirt, remember to give him the charity dollar that goes with it. I never have cash. Like, ever.) The orders, the money lunch through a website that’s not Vivi-friendly. Are these pant dress-code ok? The Thanksgiving breakfast, Santa workshop, the trip to Santa’s farm or whatever that will be…

I know it sounds silly, but combine all of these little things and yeah. I’m a bit out sometimes. 

But I’m doing it. Thank God Massimo’s teacher has endless patience. Not just with the kids, but with parents (read: me) as well. 

2)    I’m managing working and writing.

Not brilliantly, to be honest. No matter how much I wish for extra hours in a day, there’s none of that. I’m stuck with 24 and have to make do with it. 

The triad working-writing-blogging is a tad too much, especially when added to a family. And my family will not take second place, that’s for sure. I had to reassess my priorities. 

It’s family, of course.

Then working (if nothing else, because it takes me literally away from the house).

Writing (which is what I am).

Then blogging, which is the task that’s taking away most of the time and honestly, that’s not okay. I’m making changes though, and next year I’ll be able to cut some of the time I spend on it and give more to writing, making the balance right again.

3)    I’m working, and loving it!

Self-explanatory. I’m subbing, and it’s perfect in so many ways. I have the freedom to choose my own hours and where I want to work. I can do it in spite of MS because I can work a couple of days, take a breather, and work some more. I can fit the writing into it, and I have the same days off Massimo has. And teaching, even if done on the surface in the way subs do, it’s so great. I missed school.

4)    We bought a second car and what that means in terms of freedom.

My René is nothing but a beauty. I can go to work without worrying about taking my husband to work and Massimo to school. I can take Massimo to the playground at any given moment. If I forget to buy milk, I can go. Just like that.

We (as in my husband and I) never had 2 cars, not in the 20 years we’ve been together.

Honestly, we didn’t need to. In the UK, everything was walking distance. When we moved here, I didn’t work. Honestly, now I see things would be a lot easier if I had a way of transportation when I had Massimo but you know the thing about old habits. They do die hard, and we kept rolling with one car. Well, I’m so glad we got over that one because I love having such freedom of movement. 

5)    Found my space.

I guess it would be more precise to say I accepted some things I am, and things I’m not. 

The biggest one: I’m not cut to be a stay-at-home mom.

I have 5-year experience in it and I can tell, I’m not good. Not that I’m bad at doing it. I’m actually great. But I’m not mentally made for that. Having to swallow that one truth was hard because I so wanted to be.  

The truth is I need a job, one that takes me away from home. Not because home is not enough, but because A) it’s easy to get lost in it. There’s very little you love more than the people that make your center. It’s easy, enticing, losing yourself in that love. I did, and getting back on my own feet was long and hard. I need distance to focus on how to be me while I’m wearing different hats. And B) solitude is my dimension. Again, it’s too easy for me to get used to it, to need it. But virtue always stands in the middle, and I need something that takes me away from my beloved cave. 

What are your 10 (or any number, really)?

#Top10 from 2019 by yours truly. #bibliophile #bookclub #bookworm #bookblogger #bloggerstyle

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