When I first saw the cover and read the title, I was not expecting this. But man, it’s Roger Rabbit all over again, hence impossible not to have.
The book is Nothing About Us Without Us: The Adventures of the Cartoon Republican Army by David Perlmutter, a Fantasy released last week.
Anybody who loves animated cartoons should be interested in knowing the truth about them. Which is that they have lives after the camera stops filming, and pretty interesting ones at that. This book will give you the truth about who they are and what they feel, direct from their lips. Particularly about how the leaders of the world want them out of the way, for good….
As per our plan, I entered the gymnasium’s raised stage from the wings. If I had expected to be treated with respect by those grasping ghouls, I would have been thoroughly mistaken. But I had gotten used to them by now, so I knew not to expect that from them. They leaped into their Screaming Mimi mode as soon as I sashayed on, and I was assaulted by dozens of pointless questions, dozens of cameras flashing in my eyes, and very obvious attempts to hem me in so I could answer the pointless questions. Typical talentless bastard stuff from talentless bastards.
To assert my authority, I whipped the blanks-filled gun I had out of my pocket, and fired it into the air, which got their attention- and silence- immediately.
“CAN IT!” I shouted. “You will listen to us and treat us with RESPECT- which, in case you parents failed to teach you, means that you will wait until we finish talking before you start repeating those damnable circus sideshow tactics of yours! Otherwise, you will get NOTHING from us, now or in the future. If any of you have a problem with this, leave now- or I will MAKE you! UNDERSTAND?”
They seemed to get the message. A few of them angrily left the room, cursing me and the CRA both, but I kept my cool. They didn’t matter. The ones who stayed sat down and stayed silent. One woman, though, didn’t.
“Exactly what are you trying to prove by this?” she asked.
“Just this,” I said. “That we deserve far better than the witch hunt you’ve been putting us through, and that you have undermined the ethics of your profession by engaging in such tactless savagery. No further questions.”
“I said NO FURTHER QUESTIONS!”
“You have no right to do this to….”
In a rage, I jumped off the stage and began hustling the woman off, pinning one of her arms behind her.
At this moment, the General entered from the opposite side of the stage from where I had existed, script in hand. This was not something we had planned. She saw that and was outraged by my behavior. Her face turned as red as her dress and shoes.
“COLONEL!” she snapped at me.
I threw the reporter to the side and turned to face her.
“What the hell are you doing?” she asked, archly.
“She kept asking me questions,” I sputtered, “and I just…”
She turned to the reporter I had manhandled, and pointed at her.
The reporter got the message and left.
“You!” she said to me. “Get back up here. NOW!”
About the Author
David Perlmutter is a freelance writer based in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. He is the author of America Toons In: A History of Television Animation (McFarland and Co.), The Singular Adventures Of Jefferson Ball (Amazon Kindle/Smashwords), The Pups (Booklocker.com), Certain Private Conversations and Other Stories (Aurora Publishing), Honey and Salt (Scarlet Leaf Publishing), Orthicon; or, the History of a Bad Idea (Linkville Press, forthcoming), The Encyclopedia of American Animated Television Shows (Rowman and Littlefield) and Nothing About Us Without Us (Amazon Kindle Direct Prime). His short stories can be read on Curious Fictions at Curious Fictions/David Perlmutter. He can be reached on Facebook at David Perlmutter-Writer, Twitter at @DKPLJW1, and Tumblr at The Musings of David Perlmutter (yesdavidperlmutterfan).
Hi David, and thank you for being here today.
Can you tell us about a favorite character from a book.
Buck, the protagonist of Jack London’s “The Call Of The Wild”, the book that made me want to write novels. What he goes through no self-respecting dog should, but the fact that he survives it all intact is even more remarkable. It’s a real feat to write a book without a human being as a protagonist, and London did it so brilliantly. Besides, he was up in the Klondike for the Gold Rush himself, so he had absolutely no problem getting the setting and characters just right.
Advice they would give new authors?
What my half-namesake Davy Crockett is said to have had his motto: “Be sure you’re right, then go ahead.”
What is your writing Kryptonite?
Trying to write more than 40,000 words in one piece. Do you know some publishers won’t even read something you write unless it’s at least twice that? They need to try bring it back to the basic novel word count if they want something short, simple and accessible.
Do you try more to be original or to deliver to readers what they want?
Half of one, and half the other.
What’s the most difficult thing about writing characters from the opposite sex?
Fearing that the people of that sex will reject my writing about them just because you aren’t one of “them”. Which is dumb, because the best writers can make a character believable regardless of their gender. But, in my case, there are still a lot of man-haters who think women are the only ones capable of “really” writing about women, and there probably always will be.
Do you believe in writer’s block?
Certainly. It goes hand in glove with depression, which I have suffered from many times in my life. You get thinking that you can never come with anything original because it’s all been done before. But what’s all been done before, really, is the stereotypes, the false and imagined expectations of readers, and the recalcitrance of certain publishers to try anything “new”. If you write something that you really have faith in, and you can convince yourself (and then a publisher) that it has some merit, then you really can’t go wrong.
- $10 Amazon
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